Amy Sky
A phenomenal woman shares her life lessons
Interviewed by Barbara Goodman
Editorial Director – Canadian Health & Lifestyle

“It’s the fire in my eyes, the flash of my teeth, the swing of my waist and the joy in my feet. I’m a woman. Phenomenal woman, yes indeed”.

In her own words Amy explains, “I carried this incredible poem around in my purse for months, while trying to contact Dr. Maya Angelou to get permission to put it to music. One day she serendipitously showed up at a taping of the Dini Petty Show I was also on. When I told her I wanted to set the poem to music, she said she had always wanted it to be a song, and gave me permission on the spot. I learned a very valuable lesson about intention. I passionately believed the poem should be a song, and the universe heard me and responded. I encourage anyone who has a dream, no matter how out of reach it seems, to keep it close to your heart. Travelers who undertake a journey for the right reasons are always helped by invisible hands.”

H&L What’s this song about for you?

Amy Many things, including it’s not about the way you look. When people love you they aren’t thinking about that. It’s about how your inner qualities emerge in conversation and action. Are you compassionate? Do you have a sense of humour? Are you resourceful? Do you live your life with integrity? These things come out of every pore when we talk to someone. When you think of the people you love and admire that’s what you’re thinking about, not how they look.
After performing Phenomenal Woman, I talk about how, through understanding this poem, we’re able to see how we’re all phenomenal in our own ways. After the show I do a CD signing. After one show a woman came up to me (Amy gets choked up relaying this story) and said, “Before I heard you sing that song I never thought I had done anything in my life that’s phenomenal, I thought I was a completely ordinary person. Now I know I’m phenomenal too!” It’s in these precious moments I realize the power and necessity of this song for women.

H&L I sense that you like to motivate people to find themselves.

Amy Yes. First of all I think that there’s something to be said about leading by example. A good example is around the song I Will Take Care of You that broke my career in Canada. In 1983, I moved to Nashville and was discovered immediately. For 10 years I was signed to a string of big American labels. I was developed, but an album never came out. I couldn’t figure out why. In 1990, I gave up the pursuit of singing because I thought I obviously wasn’t a singer. I was having success writing for other people. Since I had just turned 30, I figured my chance to ‘make it’ had passed me by. Three years later we came back to Canada and I saw that Canadian singers were putting out their own records.
When I independently produced and released my first CD Cool Rain in 1996, it was like the universe lined up and went, “Okay, we’ve been waiting for you to make an authentic statement.” This was a record of 12 songs I loved and this was the only marketing plan for my record. I received such a profound message in this experience: when you make the right choice everything lines up, which it did.
On the other hand, when you’re encountering resistance after resistance, chances are you’re not connecting with what you’re supposed to be doing. I was in the music business but I hadn’t been making the right creative choices. In hindsight, I realize it was because the songs weren’t authentic to me.
People responded to I Will Take Care of You, because it was an authentic story of what happened to me. It was about my daughter being born on my birthday on a September afternoon in the year that my Dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. In the song I changed it to mother, but it’s about the cycle of life, someone coming into the world and someone leaving it. Then, that child becoming a parent and becoming the caretaker of their parent, which is an experience many of us have been through. This song came authentically from my heart and the world responded with so much love.

H&L Is this how you encourage others to be authentic?

Olivia Newton-John and Amy Sky at the taping of Entertainment Tonight’s Christmas Special airing Dec. 8. Olivia performed 2 songs they wrote from Christmas Wish.

Amy I do motivational speaking about finding your own voice because it took me so long to find mine, literally – 20 years. The movie March of the Penguins is the perfect metaphor for this. When the baby penguin is born it creates its own unique song. Both parents have to learn the song and remember it. The mother goes off to the ocean to get food and bring it back to the baby. When she comes back, the only way she can find her baby is by hearing its unique song. If the baby changes that song, the mother won’t find the baby and it will die. So the metaphor for me is if you don’t find your own song, if you’re not who you are – you’ll die.

H&L I never thought of it that way.

Amy We’re all born with our own song. We each have our own unique imprint, DNA and voice, but how do we find it? Most of us stumble towards it through trial and error. Experience is a teacher.
I hit my first bottom when my third record deal imploded when I was turning 30. With the information I had, I thought my performing career was over, so I gave up that dream and decided to have kids. I was fortunate to get pregnant immediately, but the stage was set for very bad postpartum depression after my daughter was born. I thought I had lost everything, including my ability to write. I was ill and didn’t know if I was going to recover. How could I recover if I didn't know what was wrong with me? I didn’t understand it at the time. I just knew I was incapacitated, bedridden and a crazy person.

H&L That was 17 years ago. Not much was known then.

Amy Very little. My doctor knew enough to prescribe anti-depressants but I didn’t take them because I didn’t know that was what I actually had. I wasn’t even in touch enough with what had happened to me to know that I was grieving my career. And I couldn’t understand how that could relate to the symptoms I was having: hallucinations, the loss of memory, cognitive impairment, and the inability to drive. I couldn’t even wash a dish – I couldn’t pick it up to do it – that’s called psychomotor retardation. I couldn’t figure out how all this was related to depression.

H&L At the time, were you aware that you weren’t able to function?

Amy Strangely enough, I was fully aware of this. My mother came back to LA with me after my daughter was born because we knew I was non-functional. We knew it was postpartum related, but I had other physical symptoms and I was in a lot of pain. So we blamed that as well as the hormonal changes.
Postpartum symptoms are episodic. I would have three good hours playing with the baby and I would think that it was all over. It’s similar to a kid’s brain, which a friend described perfectly, “Babies are bi-polar. Either they’re really happy or bummed out.” I think there’s something to that. The shades of grey is what maturity is, and the more shades of grey, the more evolved we are. I understand that now, 17 years later. I didn’t after having either child.

H&L How did the CD with Olivia Newton-John come about?

Amy Up until three years ago I focused on my own performing career. After I put out my greatest hits CD, I decided I wasn’t going to make another CD until I had a really good reason. I did some soul-searching and decided that I wanted to make music of meaning on the international level.

This is a lesson on the power of intention. It was the summer of 2004. I had reached a point in my life where I wanted to expand my format. I had achieved my goals, received my awards and I wanted something else. After I put that intention out I reconnected with my long-time friend Olivia three months later. She told me that she was doing a project of inspirational songs to raise money for breast cancer and asked if I had any inspirational songs for women. I told her that I had the ‘mother’ of all empowering songs and played Phenomenal Woman. She got it immediately and said, “Let’s do it.” We had just started talking about the CD Grace and Gratitude when her longtime boyfriend disappeared off a boat on a sport-fishing trip. After six months of going through a terrible time, I suggested we start the CD as therapy for her. The songs were intended to be healing both for her and for the listener. So, in January 2006 we began.
In 2004, I set my intention to create music of meaning on an international level. And we did. I’m truly grateful Olivia had this confidence in me. I learned so much as I changed my focus from performer to producer.

H&L What do you hope to provide your children with?

Amy I’d like to think that I have made them aware of the questions and it’s up to them to find the answers. I’d like to model being a questioner, an enquirer for both what’s outside them and inside them. And to constantly ask themselves, “Am I doing the best I can do?” I do believe I’ve modeled for them that you have to be an instrument of change. Don’t wait for somebody else to do the right thing, or pass the buck.

H&L What have your kids taught you the most?

Amy I think appreciation of the ordinary. My song Ordinary Miracles is about that. When you’re younger, you think you’re going to get your highs and experiences from some fantastic achievements like climbing a mountain or winning an award. Those things are great but they’re not full of the kind of awe and gratitude you get when your children achieve even ordinary milestones like their first step; or stepping into their potential and becoming beautiful people. This process with kids is awe-inspiring. You feel connected to your kids, the higher power and the rest of humanity.

H&L Do you and Marc work together? (Amy’s married to singer/writer Marc Jordan)

Amy Not much, but we’re a great resource for one another. We’re good at talking each other off ledges and pulling one another out of corners. We each have our own home studio and if one of us gets stuck on a song we’ll ask the other what they would do. We’ve influenced each other a lot in our writing styles. Marc’s writing is very visual and he’s taught me about using visual images in song. I thought songs were a place where you express your feelings but with Marc’s help, I’ve learned that if you use a metaphor or picture it’s much more expressive. He’s learned to write about his emotions.
We’ve started doing more performing together, sharing a band and a stage. We’re doing that in January 2008 in a couple of places in southern Ontario and then we’re going to Calgary. I’ll do my songs, Marc will do his and then we’ll do a couple together. It’s just enough to make it fun without making it stressful.

H&L Do you have something special you do with or for one another, your ‘glue’?

Amy Our favourite thing is our cottage. My favourite picture is of Marc behind the wheel of the boat, driving on the lake and laughing. When he gets on the boat he’s so full of the joy of life and happy. We feel so blessed with the abundance and good fortune we have. The cottage is our little piece of paradise – beautiful, tranquil and peaceful. We connect more in a weekend at the cottage than we do in a month in the city – as a family and as a couple. That’s one of our big passions.

H&L You have such a love for the souls of people.

Amy Absolutely. What humans can achieve is endlessly fascinating both with the arts and their spirits. I was a judge of the art show ‘Touched by Fire’ by the Mood Disorders Association. All the contributors to the show have lived with mood disorders, people who are addicts, depressed and bi-polar. The art is beautiful and so brave – open, not hiding secrets. Part of my journey about speaking about depression is that we all suffer tremendous losses and challenges in life but by sharing them and talking about them we grow so much, individually and together, we become bonded.
When I was at a cocktail party for Mood Disorders and I was introduced to the Board Members, each of them introduced themselves by their name and their disorder. I was surprised that this was cocktail chatter. I thought it was something you were supposed to whisper to your therapist and never speak aloud. This totally raised my consciousness. But when I was asked to speak about it I was embarrassed and didn’t want to admit that I had become a raving lunatic after the birth of my children. In a session, my therapist shared, “Making mistakes or having flaws actually enhances bonds between people.” That totally turned my world upside down. I thought being imperfect kept people from you, I didn’t think it was actually something we had in common. And once I realized that shared flaws are what unite people then I was freed from the need to be perfect, which is extremely liberating. Perfectionism can drive you crazy.

H&L How would you describe yourself?

Amy I consider myself to be a perpetual student, a seeker. I love to read inspirational writings from different faiths. I take a lot away from all of them; each have beautiful teachings and most religions are fundamentally saying the same thing.
I believe life is about being as conscious as possible about ones own behaviour, and choice is the most ethical thing a person can do; to be conscious about not harming
others; to improve the world when you can; to examine your choices, behaviours and relationships. This creates a field in your life that you pass along. All our choices have a ripple effect. Knowing that there’s a higher energy we can access in the universe, we have to give ourselves time and space to do that. I often do a walking meditation. I try to lose ego and daily concerns and cultivate myself with gratitude. When you look at prayer in any religion it serves three purposes: to acknowledge there is a power greater than ourself; to give thanks, appreciate or give gratitude; and the other is to impel ourselves to good behaviour. I think that we can accomplish the same thing through contemplation and action.

H&L

Amy produced and co-wrote Olivia Newton-John's last two CDs – the recently released Christmas Wish and Grace and Gratitude ( 2006). Links to both can be found at AmySky.com along with Amy's latest CD – The Best of Amy Sky, Life Lessons. Amy hosts her third parenting series on Rogers Television April 2008. Enfamil Toddler Years with Amy Sky explores the developmental stages of toddlerhood and the real-life challenges faced by parents, with input from childcare experts. The other series are still airing on most Rogers Television stations across Ontario – Enfamil Nine Months with Amy Sky and Enfamil First Year with Amy Sky air Thursdays at 2:00 and 2:30 PM. Check local listings.