I was busy cooking dinner when my son begged me to come outside and play badminton. My head hurt and it was raining gently. “I have to make dinner, William.” “After can you, Mom?” he pleaded. I thought about how I’d rather flop on the couch and how I needed to start a load of laundry, but I could tell William really wanted me to play with him.

It began to rain harder, and our rallying had more misses than hits. But after a few minutes, I began to get into it, to be in the moment hitting the birdie, listening to my son laugh as I missed, and hearing the delight in his voice when we managed a decent rally. We started to get silly, taking a few sharp shots at one another and laughing as the other lunged and missed.

Time spent exploring and playing as a family draws us closer. The adventure of exploring a ravine together or a 10 minute basketball interlude after dinner stands out at bedtime when I ask my son or daughter, “What was the best part of your day?”

At age 84, composer and comedian Victor Borge explained how to live long: “Keep something of your childhood for all of your life.” The childlike ability to play – to be spontaneous, to grab a moment when we see it – could well be what keeps us vibrant throughout life.

Where’s time for play?

Some days I’m holding it together by a thread, rushed, overwhelmed and trying to do everything right. We love our kids and want them to have options, to develop their talents, to be exposed to experiences and find their passions. So we sign our kids up for as many activities as the schedule allows.



Then there’s the pressure for grades, the fear that without hours of homework, our kids won’t keep up. We hire tutors; enrich their learning through music, art and drama. We rotate sports by season, sometimes several at once. Kids are often playing league or competitive sports for years. Can you feel the hyper-vigilance in my voice?

We put our kids in programming to have fun, explore their talents and have something to do. Is time with ‘the experts’ the best way for our kids to learn? Maybe we’re the best people to teach our kids. Younger children especially want to be with their parents, yet often we hand them over, depriving ourselves and them of precious time together.

Decisions around your kids’ time should reflect your vision for your family. Do nightly lessons fit in with your vision of cooking and play time together? Frequently check in on whether you’re expressing your family values through your choices.

Play takes planning

Parents are tired and stressed. If the initial investment to put your sneakers on and find the soccer ball seems formidable, the rewards are worthwhile. As you integrate play time with your children, it becomes less stressful and more stress releasing.

When unstructured play is a priority, evening and weekend time unfolds differently. Cooking, starting a neighbourhood game of street hockey, and walking the dog together may become important. As I’ve put more value on play, I’ve observed how the pace of our family life has slowed. We have more moments to connect with one another and my children’s creativity has blossomed.

I’m grateful to have been a child of the sixties, when children were free to explore and find their own pastimes. Building tree forts, flying down ravines on my bicycle, and hours spent reading in trees allowed me to explore my own interests and find my passions. My creativity and ability to take risks is a legacy of an active childhood spent in unstructured play outdoors. My desire is to give some of this to my own children.

The power of play

Play builds creativity, connects kids to the outdoors, and creates social networks between kids of different ages. Climbing trees, playing tag, and riding bikes optimally develop children’s bodies. As a way of learning, play takes a unique place in our children’s lives.

It’s important to unschedule one night a week so a spontaneous game of road hockey can happen. Ironically, unstructured play today needs to be structured into our schedules.

‘Silken’s Active Kids’

At ‘Silken’s Active Kids’ we inspire and support Community Action Networks (CAN) to help bring families and neighbourhoods together to play. In the last year, over 40 neighbourhoods have started a CAN to enjoy ‘Family Open Gym’ nights, and weekly ‘Play in the Park’. Weekly bike rides or road hockey gives everyone in the neighbourhood the opportunity to play together, and get to know one another. ‘Structured-unstructured play’, as we’ve coined it, is free of financial barriers. Parents have the comfort of knowing their children are watched. Children gain confidence; they navigate their neighbourhoods, knock on one another’s doors to start impromptu games, and walk to school. My children feel part of a community when I allow them the time, space and safety to play in the neighbourhood – a gift of immeasurable value.

H&L