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Lisa Oz would be the first to tell you she’s not a certified relationship expert. In fact, in the opening pages of her book, Lisa defines herself as a seeker, and punning off her own name, compares herself to the fabled Tin Man, Scarecrow and Lion – all striving for compassion and wisdom while struggling to be brave. And Lisa is exceptionally brave in this book, letting us into her private thoughts, her pantry, her closet, her living room and her marriage. Her stories are both humourous and touching; her examples poignant. She doesn’t judge from on high: Lisa proves she’s in the trenches with the rest of us, making mistakes with our partners, our kids, our neighbours and our friends.
Throughout the book, Oz outlines three important relationships: the one you have with yourself, those you have with others, and your relationship with the Divine; she believes these fundamental relationships determine the quality and the measure of our emotional and spiritual lives.
You First off, Lisa points out that all of your relationships have one thing in common: you. And since you’re the only part of any relationship that you have any control over, working with yourself is a pretty good place to start if your goal is to improve the quality of your relationships. Before you can do that, however, Lisa suggests you figure out who you really are: not the story and details of your life (wife, father, employee, zillionaire) but rather your true self – that part of your being that can’t be diminished or exalted by possessions or circumstances. The true self, according to Oz, is that part of us that’s connected to all other life and yet is distinctly us. Says Oz, "The irony is that if you live long enough, everything that you think makes you special, from your looks and your brains to power and possessions, is stripped from you. You're left with what you came in with, and either you recognize its infinite value or end up bitter over the loss of your ficticious identity." Oz describes various exercises to help establish the truth of who you are – because you'll need that information as you move through the book and through your life.
Us Throughout the next few chapters, Oz shares tips on making changes in our lives – and reminds us that we can’t change others. She offers suggestions for breaking habits (physical, emotional and thought habits) and tips for growing through times of suffering. She extols the virtues of creating a healthy body, both to better experience the world and so we can be strong and available for those we love. And, what is a relationship book without a chapter on sex? No matter the subject, Oz treats it with the same compassion, warmth and generosity of spirit. |
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The Divine Lisa believes that the essence of God/the Universe/Source is love and wisdom, and the origin of all truth. She also writes that humans long for connection with that source, which led to the development of religion. We communicate with God through song and silence, celebration and lamentation, and of course, through meditation and prayer. Oz doesn’t try to push her beliefs on readers, but instead encourages each of us to find our own spiritual path.
Wrapping up her Oz metaphor in the final pages of US, Lisa also shares tips so our ruby slippers can easily get us back to Kansas, so that we are able to integrate her suggestions into our relationships.
Lisa begins her book by inviting us to get into relationship with her. And by the end, you may well feel as if you’ve just enjoyed a quiet afternoon and a hot cup of tea in the company of friend. H&L
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